I recently read a post to FB on complacency in the Christian life. More specifically how it has no place there. It was taken from the rebelution blog . I was reminded again that the journey in a Christian's life should not be driven by what we avoid but by what we seek. I don't want to be known for what I didn't do, but rather by what I did do. In fact, I don't think anyone would remember what I didn't do. What I do, good or bad, will be what is remembered. That concept is hitting me pretty powerfully as we consider how God wants to use us. Is our call to Christian camping and full time ministry still a call or was it a tool to lead us in a different direction with our lives in general? All Christians are "called" to share the gospel or evangelize as well as encourage or disciple other believers. Some are called to do it as their job, we call them missionaries. I'm just not sure where we fall.
We are still approved candidates with American Missionary Fellowship. Since the purchase of the camp has fallen through, AMF has given us time to pray and consider our gifts, talents, and passions and to determine if we still feel called to full time ministry. In which case we would complete our year of candidacy at that point.
We do have a passion for camp ministry. Through that type of ministry I see us as more wired towards discipleship and creating environments for others to evangelize. However that could work, the reality remains that we still have the business and it is not something that we can just walk away from. So, here we are, in what I consider sort of an oasis stage, in regards to our living situation, with time to grow and flame our passion. We have a lot of flexibility in our personal lives in that we don't have a house to sell and Andrew is not so tied to production at the store. We also have a lot of ways that we can evangelize and disciple right where we're at. That's exciting, but does it mean we drop the pursuit of full time ministry? That's what we're weighing.
It's so easy in this spot that we're in to relax and just wait to see what shakes out. The thing is there is no such thing as "holding" in our spiritual journey. It's like we're in a boat on a river, we're either paddling up stream, pursuing it's source, or we're drifting down stream. The waters might be calmer now but they still have a current. We need to keep paddling! Somehow it's more obvious when we're in the rapids.
So in this time where I feel no urgency in my personal prayers or reading the Bible I'm reminded that I am a Christian. I have a long spiritual history of believers who fought to make sure I got the message of the truth. I can't drop the baton on this! There is always urgency! What a privilege I have and what a responsibility. I'd recommend the book, "The Beautiful Fight" by Gary Thomas who addresses this in depth.
For now, I'm looking for ways that God might use me, like in the lives of my kids and friends, and I'm trying to be more aware of and sensitive towards people around me in general. I'm praying that God will give me his heart for people and that I'll see them with his eyes. I'm also praying that he'll show us as a family how we might be used, full time or not, to bless other people and lead them to him. Finally, I'm paddling when I'd rather float. I will seek God through the his Holy Word, the Bible, even when I don't feel the urgency.