Waiting and Blessings

I got up before the sun today in order to walk quietly with God and try to hear his voice and direction regarding this pregnancy, Jethro, what to do to start labor.  Farms are noisy, so I wasn't really "alone" with God.  One thing that's encouraging is that God knows Jethro's birthday already.  Right now he is completely fulfilling his purpose and is in complete obedience to God.  He is fearfully and wonderfully made and God knows that as his creator.  My job is to follow Him as well and wait on His time.

I wanted to write out a blessing for each of the kids.  Andrew gets to give us all a blessing at our more complete Sabbath dinners.  It's powerful each time.

Josiah:  May God continue to grow you in strength and boldness.  May you look beyond what's right in front of you to see what God's vision is for you in his grand plan and may you readily join him in accomplishing it.  May you be sensitive to the needs of others and allow them to be honored and cared for above yourself as you know your value and protection lies in God alone. 

Mia:  May God continue to grow you in fearlessness and sensitivity.  May you quickly become alert to the needs of others and use your gifts and talents to bless them, as well as to be used by God in accomplishing his purposes.  May you never doubt the beauty, strength and intelligence God has blessed you with and may it always sprout from the inside out and be of such substance that it never fades.

Sierra:  May God continue to grow you in enthusiasm and joy.  May you be quick to share your love with others as you fully experience how loved you are.  May you be known for thoroughly completing the tasks God calls you to.  May you never doubt the beauty, strength and intelligence God has blessed you with and may it always sprout from the inside out and be of such substance that it never fades.


Eliza:  May God continue to grow you in kindness and love.  May you learn to love unconditionally, as God does, and to discover your gifts and talents and use them for the glory of God.  May you continue to be quick to smile and forgive.  May you never doubt the beauty, strength and intelligence God has blessed you with and may it always sprout from the inside out and be of such substance that it never fades.   Jack:  May God continue to grow you in determination and kindness.  May you be able to discern what God's perfect will is and quick to obey him.  May you be sensitive to the needs of others and allow them to be honored and cared for above yourself as you know your value and protection lies in God alone.


Jethro:  May God continue to grow in you a heart of obedience that always waits on his perfect timing.  May you follow after God with your whole heart, never turning to the left or to the right.  May you be sensitive to the needs of others and allow them to be honored and cared for above yourself as you know your value and protection lies in God alone.

After the kids, Andrew does a blessing for me.  Often, I'm moved to tears.  Hearing him speak of me so kindly and express the value of my role and then lift me up before the Lord... it is huge.  Sometimes he reads from Proverbs 31 and I am inspired to fulfil his words, rather than aware of how far I fall short.  It's a powerful time as I said before.  And so, I bless my husband.

Andrew:  May God continue to grow in you strength, fearlessness and determination.  He has used those traits to provide for our family and lead us into beautiful new stages of life.  May you know your value to us, but more importantly, your value to Him.  May you see God's vision for you, for the family and for your work and may you fully embrace it for His glory.  May your heart be responsive to God like David's, your faith as strong as Job's, your heritage as rich as Abraham's and your courage like Daniel's. 

God you are good, you are generous, slow to anger, abounding in love.  Use our family for your glory.  Help us to follow you wherever you lead and to bless others all along the way.

An Interesting McDay

Somehow I ended up with a gift card to McDonald's in my purse, so I decided to treat the kids to lunch. The gift card was for $15 so I only had to fork over 13 cents in the deal!! Plus, it was Teeny Beanie Baby days, so the girls each got another beloved "pet". While we were eating I noticed an older lady come in and sit down behind me. In an obvious, matted wig and with a very masculine looking face, I was pretty sure this "woman" had a story. I began praying for an opportunity to talk with her. I eagerly waiting to sense what the Holy Spirit would lead me into. Meanwhile I noticed that the conversations coming from the kids were obviously Christian topics, following up on things we'd been discussing at home or that they'd learned at Church. Let me tell you, even as I was praying for my dining neighbor I was bombarded by the urgent needs of my own circumstances. When I'm with the kids there aren't a lot of free moments if you know what I mean. Shortly Josiah was done eating so he tucked himself under the table and hurried off to play in the play area. Right then a decidedly male voice came from behind me saying, "You sure have your hands full. I remember when mine were that age." Ahhhh, my instincts were right, and this was my moment! I turned to my new McFriend and smiled.
I wanted something miraculous to come out of my mouth. It didn't. I prayed again, "Lord, you have me here for a reason. Please use me to bless this person. If you need me for anything, here I am."
So we talked. Well, mostly he talked. He told me about his situation, that his wife died a few years back and his relationships with his kids is very strained now, obviously in part because of all that's going on with his body. (I'm always confused with what gender to refer to in these situations but when I looked into his eyes I saw a man so, even though outwardly he was looking more and more like a woman, I will refer to him as a man still.) He told me they discovered his abnormality not to long ago and it really explained a lot of things in his life. The big irony here is that I just watched a show about the XXY chromosome disorder, also known as Klinefelter's syndrome. This didn't make me an expert by any means but I felt like I was prepared with some thoughts about how children or spouses might be affected or how similar or dissimilar this might be from Faith's extra 18th chromosome.
Well, long story short, after he told me quite a bit about his life and his family, he started to gather up his trash and was saying his goodbyes. By this time the girls were off playing as well and it was only Eliza and I. I scooted Eliza over and slid into his booth. There had been many prayers sent up by this point. I smiled at him and said as honestly as I could, "You know, I've been trying to respond to God and listen to the Holy Spirit in my life and I was wondering if I could pray with you right now?" "Oh," he said, "I prayed this morning." "Well could we pray together right now? I wanted to pray for your family and your relationship with them." "Well, you know," he boldly said, "I'm a Captist." My little hamster wheel began spinning in my head, "A what?" "You know, a Catholic/Baptist." "Oh." I'm thinking what does that have to do with anything and what does it even mean? So I said, "Well, would you be comfortable praying with me real quick?" "No, not really." So there I was, denied in McDonalds. Ahh, but I will not be thwarted. After thanking him for spending some time talking with me I reminded him that I would be praying for him today.
So, wherever you are right now, Mr. Humanbeing-on-a-hard-journey-through-life, I am praying for you. I'm praying for rest and consistency in your body, for healing in your relationships with your family, and for the eternal hope that Jesus Christ offers to be truly known in your heart. I don't know why bright lights didn't flash and direct revelation didn't happen today but I hope that somehow through our interrupted, distraction filled conversation that you felt the love of God and remembered that you are his beloved child.

And that's the end of the story. Was that time wasted, a failed attempt at responding to the Holy Spirit? Was I only responding to my own thoughts?

Matthew 22:36-40 "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul
and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the
second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the
Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Someday I may have a miracle story to share, someday I may be used to lead someone to Christ, but I know that I love God with my whole heart and today I loved my neighbor in the booth next to mine at McDonalds. Everything else is up to Him.

Spiritually Molting

Lately I've been challenged by shifting hormones, hatching eggs, broody hens, active roosters, a darling baby who's no longer content to just sit in her swing, a testing 3 1/2 year old who must determine if "no" really does mean "no", an independent 6 year old who is out of here quicker than a whip and wants to do everything by herself, a vocal "your-rules-are-dumb-and-that's-not-how-Dad-does-it" 8 year old who is smart enough to hide gum in his room so he can have it anytime he wants without asking mom, a busy husband who's selling eggs, chicks, and ducklings, running a business during a terrible economy and trying to salvage what he can from a burnt up building and then there's that noisy donkey who thinks it's appropriate to call out at all hours of the night! A dear friend pointed out that perhaps I'm not getting enough sleep. Honestly, it hadn't dawned on me. I realized (during the middle of the night) that she was right on! In my sleep deprived, hormonal state I've been less than gentle spirited and I doubt any children will be rising up any time soon to call me blessed, let alone my dear husband who may be wondering where the lovely lady he married went.

I'm reminded of the hens when they go into molt. Molt is an ugly time. A time where they lose old feathers and their porous red skin shows through all over. They look like they've been attacked by a raccoon or were on the losing end of a chicken fight. When you look at them, you can hardly help but be taken aback and gasp, "OH! What's wrong with her?" Also, they don't lay as well, if at all, during this time, so they're kind of useless. I relate to these molting hens. I don't feel productive right now and it seems like all my ugliness is just out there for everyone to see, especially those closest to me.

The great thing about molt is that I know it does come to end and what comes next is a beautiful thing. Egg production is up, in fact, right after molt seems to be a high egg production time. New feathers fill in beautifully making the hen look her best. Molt is just a temporary part of a hen's life cycle. I appreciate that the hens don't hide out in their nesting boxes waiting for it to end. They're out there pecking and scratching, foraging for food and socializing with the other hens (even if the other hens are all filled out with beautiful feathers!).

I'm hoping that this season of life will slough off some more of the old, cruddy attitudes and behaviors and will reveal a more beautiful spirit. I'd like to be an effective Warrior for the Lord, a blessing to my husband, a leader to my kids, and a good friend. During my spiritual molt I need God more than ever. I need his word for direction, correction, and encouragment. I need the Holy Spirit to remind me of the truth when negative thoughts creep in. As I read today with the kids, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made, (God's) works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Lead me through this time Lord, it's ugly and discouraging, but I trust your end. There are many ways to go, but my plans will fail. Through these tumultuous times, I will cling to your truth. Help me to cast away worry. You are in control.

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

What a Day!

Despite the sign we actually had a few customers come in. One of the salesmen came back into the rubble to announce he'd sold a jacket! The front of the building which is primarily retail was fine, the middle portion which is offices, sewing and embroidery had minimal damage but will take some clean up. The back area, which is screen printing, was completely destroyed. You can see the dividing wall here between the middle section and utter destruction.Here's Andrew surveying the rubble. The sun is shining through a hole in the roof.

Here's a destroyed printing press. This is just peeking into the back area, you can see the door frame is charcoal.
The employees were amazing. I really appreciated their support and attitudes. Some came in the middle of the night and stayed until after the fire was out, assessing damage and trying to grasp the reality of the fire damage.

Here's Chad sorting through damaged orders so we could immediately call customers. Sadly these orders were in the finishing department! You can see how the canvas rolling cart was melted away.

The Statesman Journal came out and did an article and took some great pictures. Keep in mind that, as all newspapers do, the article had a few facts incorrect and there is some drama that may not be accurate, etc. Also, we've received some very kind comments online but also some that are borderline slanderous. It's sad that people feel obligated to kick us when we're down. I definitely appreciate the people who've reacted to the negative by supporting us.

We are still in shock from this but given what we've come through in the past we are confident that we will come through this as well and are so thankful that no one was hurt. It definately reinforces that stuff is temporary, one minute you've got it, the next it's gone. In this economy I know many of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Also, we have to give a huge thank you to Salem Fire Department. They did a spectacular job in containing and extinguishing the fire quickly. I was so amazed at the care they took in protecting the other parts of the building.

So, *deep breath*, after surveying the scene, the kids and I went out to lunch and as we were pulling up to Carl's Jr. we see a little bantum rooster right in front of Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits Restaurant on Hwy 22 (not a great location for a chicken to be on so many levels!). So, being the chicken people that we are, we went right over and Josiah caught him as he got tangled up in the bushes. Since Carl's Jr. provided the box for us we decided to name him Carl.

The funny thing is we found out he's a celebrity. The chicken was briefly on TV tonight!!! You know what? I needed that laugh. What a day!

On a Mission

I recently read a post to FB on complacency in the Christian life. More specifically how it has no place there. It was taken from the rebelution blog . I was reminded again that the journey in a Christian's life should not be driven by what we avoid but by what we seek. I don't want to be known for what I didn't do, but rather by what I did do. In fact, I don't think anyone would remember what I didn't do. What I do, good or bad, will be what is remembered. That concept is hitting me pretty powerfully as we consider how God wants to use us. Is our call to Christian camping and full time ministry still a call or was it a tool to lead us in a different direction with our lives in general? All Christians are "called" to share the gospel or evangelize as well as encourage or disciple other believers. Some are called to do it as their job, we call them missionaries. I'm just not sure where we fall.

We are still approved candidates with American Missionary Fellowship. Since the purchase of the camp has fallen through, AMF has given us time to pray and consider our gifts, talents, and passions and to determine if we still feel called to full time ministry. In which case we would complete our year of candidacy at that point.

We do have a passion for camp ministry. Through that type of ministry I see us as more wired towards discipleship and creating environments for others to evangelize. However that could work, the reality remains that we still have the business and it is not something that we can just walk away from. So, here we are, in what I consider sort of an oasis stage, in regards to our living situation, with time to grow and flame our passion. We have a lot of flexibility in our personal lives in that we don't have a house to sell and Andrew is not so tied to production at the store. We also have a lot of ways that we can evangelize and disciple right where we're at. That's exciting, but does it mean we drop the pursuit of full time ministry? That's what we're weighing.

It's so easy in this spot that we're in to relax and just wait to see what shakes out. The thing is there is no such thing as "holding" in our spiritual journey. It's like we're in a boat on a river, we're either paddling up stream, pursuing it's source, or we're drifting down stream. The waters might be calmer now but they still have a current. We need to keep paddling! Somehow it's more obvious when we're in the rapids.

So in this time where I feel no urgency in my personal prayers or reading the Bible I'm reminded that I am a Christian. I have a long spiritual history of believers who fought to make sure I got the message of the truth. I can't drop the baton on this! There is always urgency! What a privilege I have and what a responsibility. I'd recommend the book, "The Beautiful Fight" by Gary Thomas who addresses this in depth.

For now, I'm looking for ways that God might use me, like in the lives of my kids and friends, and I'm trying to be more aware of and sensitive towards people around me in general. I'm praying that God will give me his heart for people and that I'll see them with his eyes. I'm also praying that he'll show us as a family how we might be used, full time or not, to bless other people and lead them to him. Finally, I'm paddling when I'd rather float. I will seek God through the his Holy Word, the Bible, even when I don't feel the urgency.

Pastor John Stumbo Update

Pastor John has a long road of recovery ahead of him. He has started a blog which I wanted to pass on to you: http://www.salemalliance.org/serendipity/ I hope you are blessed in following along with his recovery. He tells about his physical state so that we can better pray for him and shares his spiritual insights along the way. God does amazing things in our state of weakness and I'm so excited to see how he uses this influential man.

A Woman's Right to Choose

I just finished watching an interview of the single woman who delivered eight babies, making her total children 14. I will agree that she has too much on her plate. I think that collecting honest disability for her autistic child is appropriate and a way to make ends meet for her family and provide for his extra needs. They're not living on much, it's not like she's getting rich through some wild scheme to have tons of babies and collect disability on the ones who need it.

I appreciate that she admitted that she wasn't out to have more than 1 more baby this time - at least she says that in hindsight. I also thought it was interesting that she had 6 embryos implanted each time she conceived the previous children and only once had twins, the others were single births and the rest of the embryos didn't survive.

What fires me up about this whole situation is the anger and hate that has stirred within a nation that supports a woman's "right to choose". It's not called pro-abortion but pro-choice. So, following the choice theme, she should also be supported in her decision to keep all 8 babies. Yes, her road will be hard and more than likely there will be an affect on society. We will all realize that soon enough, mostly those close to her, but I suppose the trickle down affect of our pooled taxes will generally affect all of us, however small it will be. (Fractions of pennies I assume). We will live with her choice and know the consequences of it. We can judge her and tsk tsk the circumstances. Those that are close will have extra burdens in helping these children through life: childcare, money for food, clothes, etc. We will see what affect her choice makes.

On the other hand, we do not know the loss that society has faced in ending a life through abortion. We can't count the cost to society. It can't be judged. Many times we can't even count the cost to the people who have made the choice to abort their unexpected, unwanted child. It's a choice which can't be traced unless the mother, and sometimes the father, choose to describe the burden they quietly carry inside. Even then, the difference will be in the path one life takes and the impact it makes because the other life is gone.

Eight babies were unexpected but life for them was chosen. Chosen! Several of them could have been "selectively reduced". Praise God for their lives. I'm praying that they are healthy and that they kick some butt showing society what an impact a life can have however inconvenient it may be.

Boundaries

Lately I've been reading the book Boundaries. It's been hard to read but really good to. I think the easiest things to glean from it are based on raising the kids with good boundaries. The harder parts are understanding where my boundaries are not and applying good boundary setting for myself. It's hard to say, "No" and quite frankly, sometimes it's hard to say, "Yes." I think for now that's as far as I'll go into that part of things. Gotta set some boundaries on what I share you know! :)

It's also hard to allow other people to make their own choices and allow them the experience their own consequences, too. In theory I'm completely on board with that but in reality... well, it's hard to see people in pain or struggling. I think it's a natural compulsion to try to relieve other people's pain. I had to force myself to experience some of that this morning as one of our little chicks is starting to hatch. We were expecting them Thursday but I guess this little guy was ready. (Yes, I'm sure you're thinking what I was thinking, "Why does the egg get to hatch early but Christy doesn't get to go into labor early?)

He started last night with a little, teensy crack at the top of the shell and an occasional rocking of the egg. This morning we could see a tiny hole and sometimes even see his little beak poke around.

Here's the video I took of the kids discovering the hatching action... once again it's in sideways mode. I realized it halfway through but thought changing over would make people sick. Sorry! Towards the end, if you're aware, there is one little "cheep" you can hear.

By this evening he already has a tiny section cracked off, he can poke just the tip of his beak out and he's cheeping. It's been such a long, tedious process and now that he's cheeping that pitiful cheep it's become harder and harder to keep my hands off of him. I just want to rip that shell off and free him from his bondage. I know the deadly consequences of interfering though. He needs this struggle to give him life... but he's calling for me, soon he'll be able to see me and still the best thing I can do for him is to let him work his way out on his own. So, I'm keeping the end result in mind: a strong healthy chick who has overcome the biggest obstacle in his short life. Imagine the pride in doing it himself! How could I even consider taking that away from him?

An interesting thing about a chick is that the face that he first sees when hatching is embedded in his mind as being his mother, not as some evil, selfish, non-helpful bystander. Who knows what goes on in the mind of the chick to make that happen. Perhaps in the midst of his struggle he's actually cursing me for not helping him out but with time and perspective he'll appreciate the fact that he can stand and walk and he cannot help but love the one who chose to allow him those gifts rather than interfering with a short term solution that would have resulted in long term failure.

Fascinating. So many applications to life!!

Insights From Others

I received this encouraging reminder via my Marriage Moments email. I thought it was important enough to pass along:

October 13, 2008

Responding to Troubled Times
By Dennis Rainey

Last week I received an email from Stephens, Inc., an investment firm in Little Rock, that included a memo written by W.R. “Witt” Stephens after the stock markets fell on “Black Friday” in October 1987. Witt Stephens has since passed away, but the firm thought it was appropriate to revive his memo, saying, “His wisdom and good advice lives on.”

Through the 200 years of American history, this country has been constantly
besieged by bad news. If the early settlers had believed things were as bad as
they sounded they would have given up the fight to settle the new world and
sailed back to England, and the dream of freedom would have perished.
From
that day to the present the people of this nation have listened to the bad news
for a while, then they turned their backs on that which was bad, placed their
faith in God and faced toward that which was good.
Down through the years,
through a tragic Civil War, two worldwide wars, a series of small conflicts,
recession and the great depression of the 1930’s, we have heard again and again
the words of citizen Tom Paine, “These are times that try men’s souls.” In
every case the people rejected the bad news and overcame whatever obstacle was
facing them at that time.
Once again, we are put to the test. Everything we
hear is bad. We are smothered with a never-ending succession of newspaper, radio
and television reports on ... drug abuse, crime in the streets, decadent morals
and lack of honest and competent leadership. If citizen Tom Paine were alive
today, he could well utter again his famous quotation.
It is impossible to
lock your door against the invasion of the news media into every nook of your
home and office. They don’t make the news, they merely report it. Tell it as it
is. We have the option of acceptance or rejection. We can bemoan what is
happening in our world, wring our hands and cover our heads, or we can reject
the bad and look about us to the good.
When I was a boy on a small farm in
Grant County, news wasn’t as quickly available as it is today and reached us
mainly by word of mouth. A “drummer” would come by or one of our neighbors
returned from a trip to Little Rock or Memphis and we saw the news through their
eyes. Mostly it was about what was bad in big cities or throughout the
country.
After listening a while, my father would say, “That’s enough bad
news for one day. Let’s go to work.” America has heard enough bad news for a
while. Now is the time to go to work. Turn your back on the bad news and look
around you at what is good. You don’t need to look far. Your family, your
children, your friends and neighbors, they are good.
We live today in the
greatest country the world has ever known, filled with opportunities which never
existed before. The highest standards of living, more leisure time, better
health services, better schools, more jobs, finer homes and freedom to enjoy
these wonders.
This is indeed the time to turn our backs on the bad news and
face the future with thankfulness.
W.R. “Witt” Stephens

This email made an impact in many lives in 1987 and again last week because at times like these we need to hear godly wisdom from our leaders. But have you heard much from the Christian community? I haven’t. How are we to respond at a time of crisis like this?

Responding like grasshoppers

Last week my mind flashed back 40 years to the first time I walked into the office of Dr. Bill Bright, who founded Campus Crusade for Christ. As I looked on his desk and walls, I was fascinated to see what he valued. Of course, there were pictures of his wife and family, awards he'd received, and mementos from around the world. But on his desk there was an engraved brass plate with the most unusual phrase I've ever seen in an executive office:
“I'm no grasshopper.”

I asked what it meant. Bill chuckled and started telling me the Old Testament story about the Israelites returning to their homeland after centuries of slavery in Egypt. Their leader, Moses, sent a dozen spies into the land of Canaan. This land was inhabited by others but God said He would give it to the Israelites.

Ten of the twelve came back reporting that it was impossible for the Israelites to conquer the land. “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are too strong for us,” they said. “We became like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight” (Numbers 13:31, 33).

Only two of the spies, Caleb and Joshua, said the land could be taken. Joshua said there would be nothing to fear because his trust was in the Lord. But the people would not listen. As a result, the Israelites did not attempt to conquer the land God said He was giving them, and they spent 40 years wandering around in the wilderness because of unbelief.

After recounting this story, Bill turned to me and said, “Dennis, when I arrive in heaven, I don't want my life here on earth to have been characterized by viewing myself as a grasshopper. My God is so big, I want to expect and believe Him for great things.”

This financial crisis leaves us with the same choice. Will we respond to bad news like grasshoppers, or will we respond with trust in our God, who is in control of our fate today just as He was in the days of Moses and Joshua?

Timeless truths

We need to remember that God is still in control, even in times of uncertainty and chaos. Romans 8:28 is still in force: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” So is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, which tells us, “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

I am also reminded of what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount. “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal,” He said. “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-20).

And then Jesus goes on to say (in Matthew 6:25-33):
For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?... But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

These are the timeless truths we need to focus on—the words we should read together as husband and wife, and the words we should be reading to our children. They tell us that God will provide for our needs. His provision may come in different forms than we expect, but His promise to meet our needs has not expired in the 21st century.

Jesus’ words also remind us that there is more to life than meeting our daily material needs. When we seek God’s kingdom and His righteousness, we operate according to His priorities—we’re concerned about building our family relationships, and connecting the hearts of our children to God’s heart, and impacting future generations by proclaiming Christ. That’s what life is really about.

What is God up to?

In recent days I’ve been saying to our staff here in Little Rock and to friends of this ministry that America as a nation can survive a financial crisis, even a Depression. It’s already done that. But you know what America cannot survive? It cannot survive the spiritual demise and the destruction of its most basic unit, the family.
It’s time to return to the basics, embracing what we believe and those who matter most—our spouses and family.

It’s time for men to take their wives hands and pray together and for one another. Not just today, but every day.

It’s time for parents to rally their families together around the dinner table and read how Jesus said we are to respond to fear and then take one another’s hands and pray. Every day.

It’s time for families to huddle up, tell each other we love one another and hug one another. Every day.

It’s time to be a man or woman of faith and not a grasshopper.

For years many of us have said that it may take a financial crisis like the Depression to get our nation’s spiritual attention. Well, my friend, what if we are on our way right now? What is God up to right now in your life? What’s He up to in your marriage? And in your family? Don’t be a family of spiritual grasshoppers.

Ahhh, Familiar Territory

Well, we're back in Limbo Land. Can't say I'm happy to be here. The possible outcomes are a little less drastic than the last time with the camp. We have an offer on the house and we're in that ugly negotiation phase. We're also in the middle of negotiating on a rental. I don't like negotiating, dickering, whatever all this compromising is called. There is no thrill in the game for me. I'd rather just say, "You want it? Sure, make your best offer. Ok, that'll work!" I was no fun in the Hong Kong markets last year! Andrew would have had a lot of fun. Some people are like that, the whole thing is just not that personal.

So, we'll know by Friday the realtor says. There is a specific piece to pray for. The realtor said that if the appraisal was low or his loan had any contingencies then the buyer's hands would be tied on his response. Obviously we're praying for a high appraisal!

I'm also praying that we do get into this rental house. I have dreams of Christmas baking and hosting, hosting, hosting! It's been years since I've been able to comfortably host. I know God cares about those desires of my heart. I'm praying for more space for the kids to be "wild" as Josiah says, for an easy, quick commute for Andrew so we get to see him this winter when the work hours get long, a home where people can spend the night and there is room for big dinners. That rental house holds all those features but I'm sure many places do. I decided not to get hung up in the logistics but to trust God with details.

If everything falls through with the house sale then I'm going to fully enjoy being here in this house and neighborhood, where we have such great access to everything and Andrew can pop home very quickly.

We'll see. For now. Au Revoir from Limbo Land. This is only an extended visit - I'm not staying.

Are You Serious?!

Well, I suppose this blog should just be considered some major venting and if I say something terrible, well, just don't hold it against me.

We countered that silly little offer on the house at full price ($20,000 different than his offer) with none of the extras he asked for. Of all the ridiculous things he accepted the counter!! A few months ago I would have been at least a tiny bit excited. Today, I'm... working hard not to swear. Are you serious?!! I am finally feeling settled in this diamond in the rough house. It's starting to look like a home. Yes, there are lots of things I'd like to update and remodel still but it is livable and lovable and unfortunately that means other people are starting to love it, too. I love my neighborhood and, yes, I'd like more room for the kids to roam but I love the convenience of the park, and Andrew's work, and the library, etc. etc. It's just been a great place to be. I felt convinced that God has been saying wait, put down your roots here, and I was great with that. I have so much change already, who needs to move right now. With the business not sold I see no reason to move from this place.

Now I'm looking at rentals and, of course, Andrew wants the most inexpensive/temporary property he can find. I have been in temporary, flexible, make-it-work-as-is for so long that this blow is just devastating to me. I feel the waves of depression creeping in on my heart, I guess I kind of feel let down and like too much is being asked of me. How am I supposed to teach home school in a tiny, crappy rental (which is what I'm assuming I'll be moving to)? How am I going to labor at home when it isn't my home? How long will I be expected to rent something before I can just buy another property which is currently selling at great prices? Are we buying the camp? Is there another camp? Is there another plan?

Ok. Venting over. I know these things to be true:
God's plan will be worked out.
If it's best for me and for the family to stay here, we will, despite how far we go in this sale process.
He has something on the other side that is ultimately far better for us and I can't fathom what it is.
My emotions are undependable.
God knows my needs and He loves to give me good gifts.
I should assume the position of an eager receiver of His good gifts rather than worrier of unknown outcomes.

Sometimes it takes a while for truth from the head to work it's way down to become truth in the heart!

Inspections start Wednesday at 8:30am. Hello first interruption to home school. Pray for my attitude.

One Day At A Time

This is a picture of a bee busy at work collecting nectar and pollen from a blackberry blossom. I suppose it's too small for you to really see. He's on the top left blossom.

And here is a picture of that same bee in flight, on to the next blossom or perhaps back to the hive to leave his bounty. He's towards the top of the picture. I know very little about bees but I recognize that he's accomplishing so much for the blackberry bush just by doing his job as bee to provide food for his colony. Everywhere he goes he's leaving an important pollen trail behind him.

When I started this blog it was a way to record what would be a big move for myself and to chronicle how God had blessed us along the way. Of course it was also a way to keep in touch with family and friends, both near and far, as we prepared to move. The main title of this blog doesn't make much sense right now since we're not at the camp. But the second line, "Our journey in stepping out in faith to serve the Lord", still hits the nail on the head. This is a journey!

We still have some interested parties who would like to buy the business but as of yet nothing has come of that. The house has had a few nibbles but no bites. Meanwhile, our baby girl's due date gets closer and closer, as does the beginning of homeschooling for our family. How do we balance stepping out in faith and being prepared to move when the time comes, with living in the now? This is so different for different people and, of course, some opposing positions on this subject rear their ugly heads even within our marriage. Some members of the family say, "Let's just get settled here until the time comes then pack up and go. In fact let's plan to ride out these next coming changes first." Other members say, "Let's stay all packed up so we're ready to go faster. Those other changes can happen any where and be fine." Since one family member has a human being growing inside her and is trying to run a household with many things packed up or even in another state you can imagine which position she might take for the time being. LOL!

When you sense God's specific call on your life, the waiting time can be excruciating. Like Sarah and Abraham, who were waiting for God's promise of children to be fulfilled, it would be easy to take matters into our own hands and try to force things to happen early. They tried to fulfill God's promise themselves by producing a child through another woman... not God's plan.

Now I don't think anyone in our family thinks we're in exile but I do think the passage reflects my own feelings most accurately...

Jeremiah 29:4 This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." 8 Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. 9 They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them," declares the LORD.
10 This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

In my opinion, for some reason, we still have some time here in Salem that needs to be completed. So, I am choosing to really enjoy this stage we're in. The past three years have either been survival or a hurried preparation for service. I want to enjoy this house which is finally livable and to appreciate my husband's job which, for the most part, is pretty reasonable now. I'm choosing not to live in disappointment of what we don't have and to be open to what else may be. As for the details of how that looks in our day to day lives, well, that's still for Andrew and I to work out. So, I covet your prayers in that area. We need to compromise on how to live in this waiting time as we don't know how long or short it will be. However long it is, may we be like the bees and leave a beneficial trail of "pollen" behind us as we strive to be a blessing to people and every community that we live in.

What Now?

Each day that passes by without some firm commitment from the two parties that are interested in the business, the more I feel like God is telling us, "Wait." Not so much, "Wait just a minute" like it's been for the past several months, but more of a "Wait, this will be in my time and we've got some work to do in the meantime." So, I'm taking a deep breath and trying to see the situation for what it is. I have to admit that the thrill of having such a definite calling and specific goal was wonderful. I felt renewed passion to share the Word of God, to encourage other believers, and mostly to be used more specifically and directly. Now, I want to make sure that we don't settle back into our old daily life. I must remember our calling and I have the opportunity to add more and more experiences that will further prepare us for that calling. Perhaps there is more growth and maturity needed and God knows that our ministry will be more effective with that. Perhaps he has a different plan, a different camp, or just different timing than we first understood. That last sentence was hard to write, specifically about the different plan. I'm not sure if it's because I don't want to be wrong about this or if I just love this plan so much that I don't want to let it go. Deep in my heart I know that all these trials, this waiting time and unknown, will work together for good. 95% of the calling on our lives has not changed; we are to passionately share the Word of God and encourage other believers. Presently my specific calling is as a mom of 3, making our house a home, preparing for #4 and our first year of homeschooling, whose mission field includes ministering to friends, family, neighbors, grocery store clerks, YMCA life guards, and Bush Park dog walkers, just to name a few. So how can I be a missionary right here in my ordinary neighborhood, with not much to offer? (You know... it's not camp!) That is what I'm looking at and praying about right now. Our church presents many opportunities to serve both at church and in the community. I'm sure as we look there will be local opportunities through the American Missionary Fellowship both in coming alongside other missionaries and in starting our own ministries. Of all these opportunities, which ones will be the best fit for me and for the family right now where we're at?

I am disappointed that it looks like camp is not happening immediately, but I'm excited for how God will use me right now, right where I am. Also, I'm still ready if the camp plan does come together in the near future. We continue on, waiting on the Lord and trusting his plan.

Lord, if your answer to us right now is, "Wait", help us not to waste
it. This isn't my first choice, I want to go, and I think we're ready,
but your perspective and understanding, your plan, is so much better than my
very best thoughts. Help us not to get discouraged or forget your call on
our lives but instead to prepare for the fulfillment of that calling. Make it clear to us how to serve you right now and where to spend our time, efforts, and money so that we most glorify you. Thank you God for renewed vision. Amen!

On Your Mark... Again.

Details are being ironed out, solutions reached, walls painted, repairs made at the house, etc. etc. It feels like once again we are really close to closing on the business and can focus all our efforts on getting up to camp. There's a lot less loose ends to wrap up here in Salem now. I have to confess though that from time to time (and this is one of those times) I just want to run out and buy a lottery ticket and make everything happen according to my schedule. I would love to eliminate the risk and the impending struggle. When it boils down to it, I guess I'd prefer to walk by sight, it's so much easier that way.

Ironically, this week there has been a group doing a training right in our neighborhood. They are sighted people learning how to use a blind person's cane (I'm sure there's a more eloquent way to say that). My assumption is that they aspire to one day teach blind people how to safely navigate the world with their cane. At this point we haven't heard the instructor say anything to the students. All the instructing has been done before. Now, the students just put into practice the things they've been taught earlier: like feeling the edge of sidewalk and the grid pattern when it slants down to the road so they know where to stop and listen for cars, or feeling the grass versus the drop of the curb so they can stay centered. They've been all over our walk way and even taken a wrong turn into the driveway. It's all very fascinating and since I can see quite well I'm sure it looks easier than it is. What is a bit humorous is that, unbeknownst to the students, the kids are lined up right by the sidewalk and could reach out and touch them as they pass by.

The instructor never stops the students from their wrong turns and doesn't even help them when they are obviously confused by our off centered curbs as we have a boulevard on one side but not on the other. But, she's always right by them for safety. They started out just circling the four corners of our block right in front of the house. Now, they are walking the whole neighborhood and taking random turns here and there. I have to say, I can see a marked difference from their first few ventures to now. In fact I was moved to applaud one man who had gone from looking lost and timid, to looking confident and focused.

I can't help but relate this cane training to our spiritual training. We start out with smaller tasks and ventures but as we become comfortable with those we are able to venture further which adds further challenges as well as blessings. It was harder when they went further, but they could hear different sounds and reach different destinations. They'd been given freedom but with it came occasional struggle. Each time I obey God's instructions I've noticed it becomes easier the next time. Eventually it becomes even natural. But, I've also noticed that there is always another step of faith to take. Each step carries with it a blessing but is also a challenge.

Also like the students, we've been given the instructions we need, and our leader has never left us either. Sometimes God lets us figure out the best way to go and rely on past teaching to guide us. For that we have both our own experience but more importantly, God's word. Again it was enforced to me that it's better to remain calm and keep thinking through the challenging parts than to get frustrated or fearful. The students were very calm, obviously aware that the instructor was near and determined to learn how to overcome the challenge and grow. It was a great picture of faith in God.

Finally, just as these students were being watched by my three kids and myself, we too are surrounded by witnesses who can be blessed by our growth and even the struggles. I think we all learned a little bit about how to properly use a cane, of course we'd learn more by personal experience but still we learned some.

So, I'm not going out to buy a lottery ticket. Though I feel I'm hearing again the "On Your Mark..." I'm waiting for the call of the Lord to say, "Get Set... GO!!" I am confident that his timing is best and that he will provide for us. I'm also confident that by allowing him to be in charge of the timing and details he will get the glory in this which is our ultimate goal anyway.

A Year of Change

This weekend marks one year since we first toured Bear Paw Camp. Most of the pictures on the blog are from that weekend. It was beautiful and the camp was full of the leadership and counselors for the middle school camp that was coming in. It was so exciting to see all the organization unfolding into what would become a wonderful memory and potentially a life changing week for a group of middle school students. They had loads of food, boxes of sweatshirts and t-shirts, and huge smiles as they were all geared up and coming off good sleep, something I knew would change in just a few days.

I love camp for the impact it can have in such a short time. When you live with people, even for just a week, you really get to know them and it's such an opportunity to talk about important root issues. Today's young people deal with so much uncertainty, what a privilege to be able to introduce them to the certainty of salvation through Jesus Christ. I'm praying for the group this week, it's actually the same church as last year but it's their high school group this time. I'm praying that the Holy Spirit will be amongst them, that counselors and leadership will be prepared to have an answer for all the questions, hurts, or even anger that comes up for their campers. I'm also praying that in the beauty of that part of the world these young people will meet their Creator, some of them for the first time. I wish I was there to witness it and to help create that environment where it can take place. It's getting harder and harder to be patient. I definitely feel like we're missing out and I'm acutely aware of the daily financial impact that our not being there has. It's a double edged sword that cuts me on the emotional side as well as the practical side. Still, God has not changed, he will provide for us. He has not forsaken us, and we trust his plan.

In this past year, we have changed immensely. So much work has been done on the house, in the business, and on the building. I have much to be grateful for. Today I will rejoice in those things and wait for tomorrow to become today before I deal with it. Praise the Lord!!

He knows the plans...

In Jeremiah 29 we get to read a letter sent from the prophet Jeremiah to the exiles from Jerusalem, who were currently living in Babylon. Jeremiah conveys to the people what God says. While in exile, not in their home land or comfort zone, he tells them to thrive, grow, seek peace and prosperity. He promises to take them out of this place but for now... this is it, and make the best of it. And then this is what God says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

Over the past 3 or 4 years of my life I have often felt like I was in exile. We faced some significant financial trials and made some pretty big lifestyle changes in order to manage. At the same time we added a baby and moved into a house that needed a lot of work. There were times where I felt so burdened that I just couldn't be myself. My instinct was to hunker down and survive, not thrive. When life threw those curve balls, as it always does, I found it hard to look beyond the moment to moment times. These verses reminded me that there is hope and a future, beyond the current struggle or set back. And that God has not abandoned me in the place where I'm at. He reminds me that He has a good plan for me and encourages me to find ways to thrive, to celebrate, to live and not just wait for the better times to come. I would have missed quite a few special experiences if I had continued on waiting for things to get better first.

The picture above is of some tulips in our yard. I think they are the perfect example of thriving despite the circumstances. Two years ago, right after we bought our house, we dismantled the chimney and threw down hundreds of bricks into the yard. We placed them in a pile on what we thought was an empty planting bed. The next spring I noticed bits of green poking through the bricks and within a few weeks there were actual tulips blooming in that pile of old chimney bricks! Not only that, they survived that hard spring, only to come up again the following spring, after the pile had been removed, and bloom just as brightly.

Whether your struggle is physical or emotional, or maybe you're in a spiritual drought, trust in the Lord. Read his word to remember how faithful he has been in the past. He has a plan for you, and this time will pass, but for now you can thrive right where you're at!

The Road to Bear Paw, part 1

9 months ago we decided to follow up on what seemed like a pie in the sky opportunity. We discovered a privately owned, Christian camp for sale in NE Washington, not too far from where my husband grew up. It looked like it needed a little TLC but was obviously well cared for over the years and had a good client base. Still, we had to overcome very large obstacles in order to actually purchase the camp and move our family with three young kids up there. But, none of that seemed to phase us. We've just kept putting one foot in front of the other and waiting for God to move and direct us. On one hand, it's been a very long process but in the scheme of life, it's really been very quick. One year we're running an embroidery and screen printing business, manufacturing letterman jackets, and growing like crazy! The next we're planning to be running Bear Paw Camp and serving the Lord through full time ministry! On the radar screen the move has been "sometime next year", then "next spring", then "sometime in March" and now we're closing in on a specific final move date which makes us all very excited. It is finally starting to feel real and like all our prep work (selling our house, selling our business, refinancing a building, preparing the kids, packing, etc. etc.) will be worth it. With all the joy we're experiencing as we prepare to move, there is also the sadness of all the wonderful people we're leaving behind. Family and friends that are gold to us, they know us and love us, and will be desperately missed. I believe, as our relationships change and, instead of seeing each other often for shorter times we will spend extended times together less often, we'll be blessed by a new depth. Not to mention we live in the age of technology!! Praise the Lord.

So how does life look right now? We've been working on finishing up some of our remodel projects on our 100 year old house, so we're still surrounded by tools and supplies for that. We're 2 1/2 years into what we planned as a 4 year project. The house if really starting to look nice. I love old houses but, boy has it been a challenging adventure! In addition to the construction clutter, we've added the boxes that I've been filling with less essential things that I won't need in the next 6-8 weeks. Not to mention we've got three kids so there's plenty of kid clutter around, too. Needless to say, showing the house in order to sell it has been more than humbling.

I'm trying to keep our schedules as normal as possible so the transition for the kids goes as smoothly as it can but I feel like the quintessential duck, semi-graceful on the surface but paddling like mad under the surface. Oh who am I kidding, I'm no where near graceful, but the paddling like mad part is dead on. As much as I want to buckle down and just do what we need to do to move, I realize these are our last moments here in Salem and I want to make the most of them and take advantage of every opportunity. So, the importance of balance reaches a new level for me.

We're still waiting for the final OK but we plan to head up to the camp the weekend of March 8th to help get it ready for the season. I think this will be wonderful for the kids to have what they're looking forward to fresh in their minds and yet still have time left to say goodbye. Hopefully we'll be allowed to bring a load of our stuff up so we can get a head start on the actual move.

"Lord Jesus, I'm peacefully waiting for your timing in this. I await your unfolding plan. I know it is perfect. Help me to fulfill my part in it. In Jesus name, AMEN!"