Thursday, August 28, 2008

Are You Serious?!

Well, I suppose this blog should just be considered some major venting and if I say something terrible, well, just don't hold it against me.

We countered that silly little offer on the house at full price ($20,000 different than his offer) with none of the extras he asked for. Of all the ridiculous things he accepted the counter!! A few months ago I would have been at least a tiny bit excited. Today, I'm... working hard not to swear. Are you serious?!! I am finally feeling settled in this diamond in the rough house. It's starting to look like a home. Yes, there are lots of things I'd like to update and remodel still but it is livable and lovable and unfortunately that means other people are starting to love it, too. I love my neighborhood and, yes, I'd like more room for the kids to roam but I love the convenience of the park, and Andrew's work, and the library, etc. etc. It's just been a great place to be. I felt convinced that God has been saying wait, put down your roots here, and I was great with that. I have so much change already, who needs to move right now. With the business not sold I see no reason to move from this place.

Now I'm looking at rentals and, of course, Andrew wants the most inexpensive/temporary property he can find. I have been in temporary, flexible, make-it-work-as-is for so long that this blow is just devastating to me. I feel the waves of depression creeping in on my heart, I guess I kind of feel let down and like too much is being asked of me. How am I supposed to teach home school in a tiny, crappy rental (which is what I'm assuming I'll be moving to)? How am I going to labor at home when it isn't my home? How long will I be expected to rent something before I can just buy another property which is currently selling at great prices? Are we buying the camp? Is there another camp? Is there another plan?

Ok. Venting over. I know these things to be true:
God's plan will be worked out.
If it's best for me and for the family to stay here, we will, despite how far we go in this sale process.
He has something on the other side that is ultimately far better for us and I can't fathom what it is.
My emotions are undependable.
God knows my needs and He loves to give me good gifts.
I should assume the position of an eager receiver of His good gifts rather than worrier of unknown outcomes.

Sometimes it takes a while for truth from the head to work it's way down to become truth in the heart!

Inspections start Wednesday at 8:30am. Hello first interruption to home school. Pray for my attitude.


Sherry M said...

There is a house for rent at the end of my street- there are no homes next door- it is at the dead end- perfect for kids! ;-)

SLMW8MAN said...

God is preparing the way for you. Step by step. It is never a straight walk it seems. Enjoy the journy.

momaof4 said...

Isn't it funny, that when you stop looking, searching trying to find a way. God opens one door.

Goodness, your post made me laugh at what God can do! And i would totally be saying the SAME thing!!!

Lord, lift me above my own narrow horizons, that I might fulfill your true vision for me. - B.J. Hoff