Today I actually had some uninterrupted time with God to read his word and wouldn't you know it, the passage I read was a direct challenge to my level of fear versus faith. I love it! Have you ever struggled with fear? This small section of scripture follows a time where Jesus has been preaching and teaching quite a bit. Crowds have formed and begun following him around. So the disciples suggest they get on a boat and cross over to the other side of the lake. I wonder why they suggested that? Were they tired and overworked and needed a break for themselves? Were they trying to love and care for Jesus as they saw how much work he had been doing? Were they moving to a new location to share the truth with new groups of people? I'm not sure their motivation but I believe it could only be a pure one. At any rate, Jesus got in the boat and was with them in making the move. And then it hits! The storm. The Bible says "a furious squall came up... waves broke over the boat... it was nearly swamped." I've been there! Blind sided with bad news, a set back, or failure. It is not comfortable and too many times I respond like the disciples did. They ran down to where Jesus was sleeping, woke him up and essentially said, "Don't you care what I'm dealing with?! Where are you in this?!" It struck me that they didn't ask, "Jesus, will you calm the storm?" Isn't that the problem their facing? No, they say, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" I'm not sure they questioned his ability to calm the storm but with these words they definitely questioned his love which is at the root of their faith in him. "For God so LOVED the world, that he sent his only son...", and there he is right in front of them. And for us, "God demonstrates his own LOVE for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
God has truly proven his love, yet still the disciples question it, and Jesus responds to them at that level. "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" Ouch. Those words are for me, too. I can read in the Bible of God's faithfulness through generations and generations and generations. I can also look back over my own life and see where God has been faithful in caring for me. Still, even following a day of great blessing and encouragement, confirmation of God's calling for us to serve Him through Christian camping, when I'm faced with a set back, I cry out, "Lord, where are you? Have you abandoned us when we're so close to actually getting started?" And I can hear him respond, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
Yes, Lord, I hear you speaking to me. I will set these wild emotions aside and trust you for who I know you are.