My heart doesn't know how to feel today. This weekend we will go up to the camp and will have to ask for another extension on our closing date. Selling a business is complicated and keeps taking longer that we plan. Selling a house in this market has proven to be tough, too. These obstacles have made it so that we don't have enough down payment money right now and we're due to close in just a few days. In meeting with the sellers we have some ideas that we'll present and hope they will be accepted. We've been praying for creativity and flexibility for both the sellers and ourselves. I'd like to be excited that we could set some time lines for moving and complete the arrangements for how this transaction will finally take place. But, I fear that this opportunity will be taken away from us, as is the sellers right in these situations.
Fear. One of the greatest tools Satan has in his toolbox. It keeps us from moving forward in faith and experiencing God. It threatens to ruin everyday experiences with heart palpitations, sleepless nights, and sweaty palms, not to mention the irritability. Psalm 27 again is what I'm clinging to. Whom shall I fear? The sellers? From my perspective they are in the position to change my future with either a 'yes' or a 'no' on our deal. But are they really in control of my life? Of whom shall I be afraid? From God's perspective this is a moment in time. He has a plan to use my life, our family's lives, for his glory, in a way that uses our gifts and experiences and passions to the fullest. If this door closes, we will know that we did everything we could to get there, we will praise God for all we learned along the way, and we will continue to move forward in faith and knock down every other door we see, until one is opened. Then we will praise God all the more for his provision and direction. But still, we are praying for this door to open and we will go up there this weekend, in faith, with a load of our belongings in the trailer, and we will do all we can to make this happen. Praise God, he already knows the outcome.
Isn't it ironic that all this is happening on Good Friday and Easter weekend! He is risen! Jesus has risen from the dead. He is on the throne. And, he cares about me!